Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
