doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
