Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
