3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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