But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
