She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this will be a night to untag.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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