thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
jump out the window naked night went bad
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
