Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
