and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
