thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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