My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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