very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
