well you can't waste a boner
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
