if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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