Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
