Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
