i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
