I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
