Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
