my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
