the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
