you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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