Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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