Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
