we have officially lost it.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
