I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
