I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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