Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
