How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
