i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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