Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
