no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
