You work out of a Hotel?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
