I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
