There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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