Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
