Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
