Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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