just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
