No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
