This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
