I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
