She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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