Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had to cum in my sink.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
