If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
