If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
