this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
