My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I want is dick and wine.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
