Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
