I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
