dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
